On this enlightening and empowering episode I speak to the amazing woman that is Michelle Griffith Robinson OLY. Michelle's journey goes far beyond the talent and hard work of becoming an Olympian. It's about daring to dream, embracing vulnerability, and seeking support. Her mission in life is to empower women and girls to unlock their full potential, every day.
In our conversation, we delve into the essence of Michelle’s beliefs, emphasizing the importance of seeking support when needed and shattering the stereotype that Olympians must always be infallible. At the heart of our discussion is the recognition of the 'whole person' behind every champion. Michelle's perspective is firmly rooted in the value of hard work, as she aptly puts it, "You might be a natural at languages, math, or even athletics, but beneath it all, there's still a need to put in the effort."
And she also acknowledges that her own story and the stories of countless other successes go far beyond mere talent and effort. Embracing vulnerability and reaching out for help when necessary is, as she believes, a hallmark of strength. She articulates this beautifully by saying, "Being strong, in my very humble opinion, is accepting the need to raise your hand and say to those closest to you, 'I need support today.'" In her own words, she humbly states, "I'm not just an Olympic medalist; I am a girl who dared to dream." Daring to dream and unwavering tenacity are the driving forces that carry champions through the toughest times, "when it's hard, when you're injured, when you stumble, when you feel you can't go on."
Michelle also encourages each of us to discover our unique sources of joy and pursue them with unwavering determination. She shares her own daily life as an example of what this entails.
This episode is a genuine wellspring of inspiration, featuring a truly remarkable woman.
To find Michelle go to:
https://michellegriffithrobinsonoly.co.uk
To join the Oka waitlist and find a mentor or coach to support you on your journey go to
Fiona 00:15
I'm absolutely thrilled to have Michelle Griffith Robinson with me today. It's been in the diary a few times. You're a very busy lady, with very important things that have come up. We are talking today, which is fabulous.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 00:30
Fab. Thank you Fi for having me. Oh my gosh. Yep. Thank you. It's um, yeah, it's been a long time coming. So yeah, it's gonna be brilliant isn't it. Let's be honest. Yeah. Because we were chatting, we're just having a normal conversation and dropping a couple of golden gems as we go along. So yeah, thank you for having me.
Fiona 00:47
You're very good at those golden gems. Even on your website, actually, just some of the things that you've written, just resonate so much. And actually on your website. So you're an Olympian, you were the first woman to jump over 14 metres in the Commonwealth for triple jump?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 01:06
Yeah.
Fiona 01:07
Phenomenal. You represented the UK in 1996.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 01:14
Yeah.
Fiona 01:15
In Atlanta. There's obviously a lot to you. And I think, sometimes with Olympians, we can get so focused on the sport and the excellence and the mindset that we forget there's a whole person behind.
Unknown Speaker 01:31
Can I get an Amen? Absolutely, darling, I think you're absolutely right there Fiona. And I think, one of my most recent articles that I've just done, I just did a really big campaign with some of the Manchester City Football as women footballers and some of the Lionesses. And I think one of the things I said there is, despite there being that title of Olympian or Lioness or whatever, there is a whole person exactly what you said. And a whole person that has had struggles, despite winning or losing, but had struggles in life. And I think that's the important thing for for most people who've got the platform to share. Yes, we're going to share the glamour, you know, there's nobody that likes dressing up more than me, getting my lashes done, getting my makeup on. But there's also that there's me as well, that wants to keep it real, even on those occasions. You have to keep it real, that you will suffer some form of trauma or challenge in your life. And it's how do you choose to come back from it? And I say you choose? Because it is a choice? How do you choose to come back from all these challenges and traumas and things that are going to happen? And that's that's what I think, I don't think that's an Olympian thing. Yes, I think my mindset has definitely had a massive part of that. But I think it's more of a case of, I'm a determined individual regardless. But it also means that sometimes I do struggle, and I accept that.
Fiona 02:46
And it's actually on that point, that determination, because when I was younger, I had depression. And I didn't tell anyone, because people didn't understand it before. And there wasn't there were various different reactions, people would either treat you differently, which I didn't want. Or they would sort of think you need to buck up or whatever. But one of the things that I saw recently, a book as I'm going through that stuff was 'Depression, a Curse of the Strong'. And I think one thing we're not taught about mindset is when you're as determined and willful as you are, I am in different ways. It can actually, that in and of itself when we don't know how to use our mind, which we're not taught, can play against us. So in many situations, it can help us through, but it can also end up being that curse.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 03:45
Yeah, and I agree with that. It can also be like I say, the curse it can also be the massive down that doesn't factor big down factor in you because you think, "Well I should be able to do it. I should be able to do it. Well I can do it." And actually recognising that sometimes you're just depleted and you can't do it anymore. You know, and I had one of those days yesterday where well I wasn't you know, completely down and under but I was down. I was down I've been going through a lot with my mum. My mum's poorly at the moment and the transition of her now being disabled and in a wheelchair and after losing their leg to diabetes. I think all of that my mom's my hero I love my mom so much she's so vivacious it's because of her that I am I could go on and on about my mom for a good bloody few days. But all of that plus me do my own self also you know do more my stuff with my charities, my three children, my daughter's got exams, us moving house. It was a lot of a lot, it was a lot of a lot so I just literally stayed at home yesterday. Felt a little bit flat, a little bit so for my ass and sorry to swear, but I said you know what I need this day. And I recognise and I think the one thing that that has given me from being a coach, a life coach and a lifestyle coach is that I recognise when I'm feeling - I need some time out. And again, it's letting go of that, because I've got to keep going, I've got to be strong. No, I don't need to be strong. Being strong, in my very humble opinion is accepting putting up my hand and saying to those nearest and dearest, I need some support today.
Fiona 05:18
I totally agree with you. But I would also say it's hard because I mean, I'm a psychologist, I work with lots of psychologists and coaches and people. And because you know, it doesn't necessarily mean you do it.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 05:33
There you go.
Fiona 05:33
Still got to be able to recognise it. And that is a skill as well. So you demonstrate the skill there at being able to say, Yeah, I'm practising what I preach.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 05:43
I'm practising what I preach. And of course, we are sometimes the worst ones, because we've got so much knowledge. We don't necessarily practice what we preach. But I needed that timeout yesterday. And I think it's really important for our listeners here to find that accountability person. Excuse me, that person that's going to turn around and say to you, "How are you? Genuinely how are you? Okay, how can I best support you?" Yeah, not no judgement of oh, "Well, why are you feeling like that?" And no, "How can I best support you? Mich? Just a just a suggestion? What about just having a day of Michelle today? Just chillin, doing a couple of tottering around the house, just chillin." And sometimes you just want that permission from somebody else. Yeah. You just want that permission with someone else. Because it's very difficult to be in a position where everyone sees this bubbly individual that's always on fire. Actually, guys this bubbly individually is always on fire. But there's 20% of me, that can't be bothered sometimes, too.
Fiona 06:38
Yeah. And it's also, like you said, you use the word depleted when you're depleted. It's like you can't, if a fire has no oxygen, it can't burn.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 06:48
It can't burn. And that's exactly it, that fire in my belly, the oxygen that I needed. And what I did yesterday to come out of that because I mean, people probably thinking, "Well, how did you come out of that yesterday?" So last night, just before I was about probably about 8 to nine, I said to my son, my daughter, "I'm gonna have an omelette for dinner tonight. So I'm gonna keep it very simple gonna have an omelette for dinner. But I'm gonna go out for a walk with the dog. A really brisk 20 minute walk with the dog and come back in and do a bit of squatting and pressing a little bit of weights. I just want to feel energised." Come on, come on. And because I know that, that gives me a buzz, training gives me a buzz. It wasn't long, literally 17 minutes maximum. But I felt good. And I then I also made a non negotiable to myself, I'm going to bed by 11 o'clock. Yeah, I'm coming off my devices by 10 o'clock, I'm in my room. I went in had a shower. I looked after me. And I just went. I woke up this morning, a different mindset. But I needed that time. And that's another thing, so you got to think yourself, having the odd day where you don't feel great is okay, having two days is okay. It's whether or not you're you're slipping down that slide of actually this is becoming a normal habitual depressive state. That's when you do have to reach out to your health professionals.
Fiona 08:06
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think some of the discipline that you've described there, whether you're conscious of it or not, is that go to bed at 11, put device down at 10, you know that squats give you a buzz?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 08:25
Yeah.
Fiona 08:26
A lot of people don't have that they don't have, a) they've never been in an environment which demands that level of awareness and discipline. And then b) they just don't have that knowledge of themselves.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 08:42
Absolutely. So I would always say to people, I get that and I understand that and I completely appreciate sympathise and empathise with all of that. It's just like me going to my mortgage advisor. I don't know about the ins and outs of mortgages until I've done it. But what I would do is I'd go and explore. So I would say, You know what, go to somebody like Michelle Griffith Robinson and say, "Mich tell me when you feel like that, what do you do?" And build up your toolbox.
Fiona 09:06
Yeah,
Michelle Griffith Robinson 09:06
Build up. You know, go to Fiona, "Fi, when you feel that what do you do?" Because you've got to remember that saying one size doesn't fit all Fiona. But getting little snippets from different people allows you to fill up your toolbox and you can say, "You know what, I'm going to try that what Michelle said, a little 20 minute brisk walk around, and then come back in and do a couple of squats and presses." What does she mean by squat and press? I assume she's mean squat down. And if your arms above your head, just try it 30 seconds on 30 seconds off. Try it for three or four minutes, see how you feel. Put your devices down at 10 o'clock. No interaction go to bed at 11. Should have a long shower, get to bed, wake up at seven o'clock and do your positive affirmations. Try it. You won't know until you try. Try it
Fiona 09:47
And wait so you're a life coach and you're a mentor and you're a trainer.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 09:53
Yeah,
Fiona 09:53
With that life coaching and mentoring is it is that part of your approach where you're encouraging people to try things on to see if they work for them. And then and then also to reflect and think, well, was that good? Or wasn't that good?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 10:10
I think I think I come from more people come to me for coaching and mentoring. So, you know, obviously life coaching is me unlocking, unlocking them the questions that they've got within themselves. Yeah, mentoring would be me sharing if you know what, guys, if that was me in that position, I would probably try this. So I have a combination of two generally, when I'm doing a client, and they generally booked six sessions with me, and we have a we have a chemistry call beforehand, and they booked six sessions. And, you know, it's just a conversation, pull out some open ended questions and that's it. I reckon that that's come about for me starting off as a personal trainer 23 years ago. 24 years ago, actually, I started as a personal trainer, I recognised that a lot of the time I was training these people, they'd be offloading on me. So I was like, okay, so really, they say they want training, but really, they don't really want training. They need some form of life advice and guidance here. Yep. And that's how it's then materialised. So people come to me for different things, could be career change, you know, obviously, I'm a massive ambassador and advocate for women in midlife, you know, talking around menopause and lifestyle changes and recognise it. So people come to me for those reasons. Women come to me. Men come to me because they want support from there to support their wives. Throughout these transitional changes. Young women come to me in their 30s say, "Michelle, I want to climb the ladder, so I can be good at that." And I say to them all the time, the question would be, "How can I best support you?"
Fiona 11:33
Great question. Great question that it comes back to what you're talking about having someone who you're accountable to or someone who's
Michelle Griffith Robinson 11:43
Absolutely, absolutely. Somebody that you can hold yourself to account to. Somebody that you feel is going to be non judgmental, which is what coaches are meant to be, non judgmental, trust in where you can feel safe space, so you can share. "Do you know what Fiona? I'm feeling like this today?" "Okay, lovely. So on a scale of one to 10. How is that impacting you? How does that impact you? What brings you joy? If you had all the money in the world, what brings you joy?" "You know what I'd like to find a couple of days a week to do my knitting." "Alright. So you just told me from your mouth, you want to find a couple of days a week to find it in? How are you going to implement that? And what support do you need from your partner or your family or your friends or your colleagues or your workplace to implement because that's what brings you joy?" And sometimes we're overcomplicating it, don't overcomplicate it, keep it simple. "What brings you joy? How can I best support you?"
Fiona 12:43
It's such a quick question, "How can I best support you?" It says it all but but really importantly, the safe space, the trust, the non-judgement?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 12:52
Absolutely. Absolutely. The safe space is crucial. You know, I've been through some real difficult times in my life, and it's not woe about me and one day when I do, I will be doing a few books actually, I will tell people from now, when I do do my books, you know, it will be sharing, you know, my journey. One of them be my mum has positive affirmations. Because every day mommy says say positive to say, irrespective how she's feeling. And that goes to show that the positivity of the human that I'm that I'm proud to call my mummy. And what's the one day I'll do that. But another thing I would say to people, "What's within your gift, man? What can you do that makes you feel good to give on to somebody else, pay it forward? Know what's within your gift?" Do what's within your gift. You know, if you see a guy on the street or woman on the street, homeless person struggling, you don't have to give them money, but I'm gonna stop and say, "Oh, how are you?" Because straightaway the perception is that person on the street probably don't get many people talking to them.
Fiona 13:46
No, no, I agree. And I even you know, I, I always now this isn't so that I'm an angel and I do everything right, because I don't, but I I will always acknowledge or try to acknowledge that person and not do it in a way that's like looking pitiful or
Michelle Griffith Robinson 14:06
or condescending way
Fiona 14:08
Because that's another human being so connect. Another human Fiona I love it. It's another human being. And you know what Fi and I mean it. You never know when you may fall on hard times. No. You never know that. My mom says something and it's really important. "Today for you tomorrow for me", you just don't know. So don't be judging because you don't know when that door closes. Anything could come down in 2008 when we had the first big crash that we all remember. There all those people thinking before that date that they were high flying doing this kids are in private school driving is this that that BOOM, they had to be taking out their kids in droves. And that's why I say "Nobody's better than me. Nobody don't care who you are. You ain't better than me. And you should not think you're better than somebody else because you're standing a little bit taller right now." Absolutely. Totally. It's interesting when I used to profile, so do these in depth four hour psychological profiles of leaders for big corporates. And when I did it for different companies, so when I was an employee, I used to always go to the receptionist and have a little chat afterwards. "What were they like then?" Because that's the time when I mean yeah, of course, they might have been a bit anxious or stressed because they're about to do this. But that's the time when you see what is this person like, when no one's watching?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 15:39
What is this. There you go, there you go. And I think these are all the fundamental values, you know, when I, when I one of the first things I do when I'm doing a coaching with somebody, I say to him, part of my packages, I'd like to get to know you a little bit more. So, um, you know, let's talk about values and missions here. And they're like, Ah, okay, and they're very, very, very grateful to do it's just what, something that I like to because it gets gives me a little bit more of an insight after the chemistry call. It gives me a bit more of an insight into what that person's like, and their values and their missions. And, you know, and sometimes I just say, hold the mirror up. Hold the mirror up. You don't have to go too far to look for the true answers, you know, Mm hmm.
Fiona 16:21
But again, I think that comes back to what you're saying, is that person to be able to do it, to. Because it's very hard to do that in our own heads or in our own company, or with a cell phone, or whatever, you know. Yeah. Yeah, you need a human, you need another human. And that's why almost, I would say, um, you know, one of the things that I thought when I'm talking about that, and I was just jotting down little ideas of a book, I would like my book to be something that we look almost like peer to peer. So there's, there's two books, one for you and one for the person a bit like how Stephen Covey did it did one of his 'Seven Habits of Successful People', when he did that he had one with the question and like, as you go along, like the book you write in it. And so me and my husband did that with the relationship, one where we both went through it the same time. Yeah, so but our answers are different, you know, because our values are different. Yeah, but then give us a bigger a better understanding of why we would argue about things we'd argue about. And that's what it's about, isn't it about insight, and that understanding and being able to, often, if something's not put on the table, if it's not spelt out, we have assumptions that that other person knows or understands. But however close you are to someone, you don't necessarily and you're not the same person. I think when you're in a marriage with kids, like you are, oh, you can forget you're not the same person. They don't have the same perspective as you. Sometimes it's very clear you're not. But but there are some options.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 17:59
Absolutely. Hello. Yep. Absolutely. So I think all that in itself is really important to, to recognise and I think that you know, people take away from this now almost about the responsibility of your response able of yourself, you know, and how you choose to conduct your life is about choices. And it is about choices. I'm not saying that sometimes you don't feel crippled or paralysed. Because you're trying to make a choice and you don't know where to go to. I'm not saying that's that flippantly because I know sometimes a lot of my friends, you know, especially the position where we're over 50. Now, they're coming up, coming up against some serious choices, they have to make that, you know, whether that's a career change, whether it's, you know, relationship change with your kids, or going off to uni. Whatever it might look like, there's some critical points that are coming up now. And it's about sometimes holding the mirror up.
Fiona 18:50
Yeah, it's, it's powerful stuff, and you're framing of stuff, you know, I find incredibly helpful and inspiring. Do you find that when people come to you as a coach or as a mentor that they are expecting you to give them the answers?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 19:15
If they come to me for coaching, yeah, I definitely think that they come to me expect me to give them the answers. And, and, and I learned that you know, the hard, the hard way that sometimes you gotta have a bit of silence in the room, you know, you gotta have silence for them to give themselves a chance to reflect on what actually do want, because they come to you know. I used to say there's a, there's a girl I knew, she liked the idea of having children, but she didn't like the idea of having to really work hard to have children. She just thought, Okay, I'm just gonna make love to my husband, and I'm gonna have children, but when that didn't happen, and you know, she said, Michelle, I can't fall pregnant. I'm like, But how much do you really want to fall pregnant? You know, lifestyle wasn't great at the time. I'm like, because if you really want to fall I'm not saying it would have made a difference to the outcome. But if you really want to fall pregnant, really and I mean, really, what are you prepared to give up? And that question again "What are you prepared to give up? At what cost do you want this baby?" And of course, even doing all of that, you're not to know. But if you really want it, you're at least prepared to give it a try 100% try. Because you don't become anything in this world and nothing comes easy. Yeah, you might be natural at languages, you might be natural at maths, you might be a natural athlete. But behind all of that, you still got to put in some work.
Fiona 20:30
And it comes to that thing, where at the moment, we see more and more of the results rather than the slog that goes in.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 20:39
The grind, the grind behind it, absolutely, I think I put that in my article for the fold recently. I think I've just put that in there as well that you see this Olympic athlete, but you don't see the blood, sweat and tears, and sacrifices that you have to make, and choices you have to make in order to say, "Ah, you know what I'm gonna do this". You know, I've got a daughter, now she's at Cambridge University studying politics. And she also wants to do athletics. And, you know, she's had to really ask herself, my gosh, you know, if I was at a university that was more more sporty, it would have made my athletics career so much easier. I said, "Absolutely would have done", I said, "but this is the choice you've made. With that choice, you can rest assured that once you leave Cambridge, you're going to walk into a phenomenal job. And you can still get the lessons you've learned from that are managing your time with training, you're going to be alright, if you haven't managed it now, the next three years like this. Imagine when you haven't got that pressure on you, you'll fly." So it's about reframing, always reframing, saying well, that but what about if this? So you know, don't be a pity party. Think about it another way.
Fiona 21:44
I love that phrase pity party.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 21:48
It's true right?
Fiona 21:49
It's true. It's very true. You think back if to your Olympic career. What was the journey like for you?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 22:02
What was the journey like for me for my Olympic career? Man, massive question. My career started from the age of 12, when I started athletics. By 19, I really felt that I wanted to become an Olympian, I knew I'd have to work really, really hard. And I retired at 35. So I guess over, let's start from 12 years old, when I first put my foot on a cinder track in Wembley, over 23 years. It was, it's hard. It's challenging. It's exciting. The adjectives I can use. It's exhilarating. It's mind blowing, the experiences have been sensational. And I feel very lucky that I've been blessed with a with a talent that I was able to fulfil, and I'm not an Olympic champion is what I say to people. I'm not an Olympic medalist, what I say to people, what I am is a girl that dared to dream from Wembley, who made it to the Olympics. That's who I am. So when I put the mirror up, I am exceptionally proud of Michelle Griffith Robinson, because I know that I could have gone several different ways in my life. And I chose that one. By 15 is when I really felt I wanted to do athletics seriously, when I was missing geography, field trips, etc, etc. And I was like, and they're like, "You're not coming on the geography field trip?" and people at first, and I was like, "Guys, I'm gonna be very honest with you, my father's a plumber in Wembly and, my mom's a nurse," You know, very good working class, we were okay. And my mom, my mom would work three jobs to provide for me anyway. It's just that I didn't want to take the weekend off. Um, it's training. So that's how determined I was from 15-16 I really knew that if you want it enough, you're gonna have your nose is gonna have to be put out of joint excuse the part. Because if we could all do it, we'd all be there, we'd have loads of Olympians we'd have, they'd been all over the world wouldn't. You'd have, look at not everyone can do it. That's it simple as that. And it takes a person with talent. But it takes more than just talent. Hard work beats talent every day of the week, that tenacity when it's hard. When you get injured, when you fall hard, when you feel you can't do any it more. That's what builds a champion that in a grit in a determination builds a champion. And the great thing is that lifestyle with my Olympic career has been able to pass over since I retired 15 years ago, 16 years ago, has been able to pass over to my everyday life now. So I know I don't get it very easy at some things. But I know but I also know what my value is. I know very well what my skill set is and what I'm doing differently now than I did when I was in my 30s and my 20s. I'm reaching out for help to make Michelle an even bigger, better person.
Fiona 24:49
That's amazing to hear. And I think that's a really interesting one when it comes to Olympics because - I am not a sports psychologist and I am not an Olympian by any stretch of the imagination. But there is I think when it's a single sport or solo sport, I don't know what the right term would be, but rather than a team sport, that there is a need to be incredibly, and correct me if I'm getting this wrong, but incredibly self dependent. Which then again, creeps back to that thing, the curse of the strong is being able to ask for help is not something that has been trained into your way of operating to do what you excel at.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 25:41
So just to clarify that, when you're doing an individual sport, individual.
Fiona 25:46
Yes, thank you.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 25:47
You still need a massive team around you. So it's different to rugby, where you're when you're on the pitch with 15 players or football with 11 players or netball with seven players. It's different to that. But you still need a team around you. So my team would look like Michelle in the middle, your sports psychologist, your physiotherapist, your nutritionist, your confidant, your peers, your friendship group, your training group? Yeah, your sponsors. So all of those people are envelopes around Michelle Griffith Robinson. So despite the fact that being an individual event, you still need a team that sings from the same song sheet in order to make Michelle Robinson successful. And again, we can have the question, what does success look like? Jump a PB, perform at major championships in that in that talking in that category. Yeah. And so I say this in corporate companies, you might have the CEO of JP Morgan, but he's only as good as the rest of the team around him, the people at the bottom of the ladder. And people sit on the board with him or next to him or aside him. He's only as good because those people are helping him, helping him to be as good as he is. Because without the janitor coming in and opening up the buildings and keeping the place clean, it ain't happening. And that's where people forget it. They get it twisted, and they forget the importance of everybody's role. And it just looking at, oh, that's the CEO of dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. No. It takes a lot around that. I often say my team when I go to corporate companies, and I do a lot of workshops, and a lot of talks, a lot of motivational talks. The first picture I put up isn't of me doing athletics. The first picture I put up is me, Matthew, my husband and my three children. That's my high performance team. Because without those guys turning around and pulling their weight around the house, around, you know, being decent people not giving me stress, I can't do what I do.
Fiona 27:51
And I love that picture you've got of your family on your website. It's just beautiful, gorgeous kids.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 28:00
By the grace of God, thank you. So I have got a beautiful husband. And although he irritates me sometimes, he is the most supportive cheerleader that I could ever have imagined. And that was proven recently at the Tina Turner musical. Just about a month before Tina Turner passed away I was invited by Women's Aid to give a talk to the whole of the audience.
Fiona 28:21
Oh, wow.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 28:22
Around, it was well, you must go on my website, and look at it Fiona. And it was it was it's actually the second biggest thing I've done in my career, my professional career. The first biggest thing was walking out to a stadium of over 95,000 people. But this was about 1000 people, 1200 people, and they called me on stage, and I spoke to the survivors of domestic abuse. And it was a fifth year anniversary of the gala of Tina Turner the musical being in London. And it was magical, and it was full of emotion. And oh my gosh, it was one of the most it was such a proud moment for me on a myriad of levels. And when I look around, I'm in the front row, you had Linda Robson, Kelly Holmes, Beverly Knight, Emily Sandy. And that's great. And they're wonderful women in their own entire right. But at the top, I had 100 survivors of domestic abuse. And that was my champions of the night. So those 100 women up there, and my husband sitting there, with tears in his eyes clapping as hard as he could. And that's why I say behind every team behind every individual, you have to have a brilliant, high performing team.
Fiona 29:41
That's really special. And I think, I think the thing is, though, is that again, it's the appreciation, the gratitude and the realisation that you have for that.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 29:55
Absolutely.
Fiona 29:56
And yeah, you know, that takes it a step beyond
Michelle Griffith Robinson 30:02
Yeah, it's, it's it's deep. It's, I never take things for granted. I never take opportunities and people for granted. Because it can change like that. I do feel blessed that I've got a platform that I've created because I've got to recognise that this wasn't just given to me. This is not nepotism. That you have to work for this. But I'm grateful that I'm now doing something that is meaningful from my sporting career away from my sporting career. So I feel proud of myself, you know, I'm, I'm having an impact on society. I'm working with the menopause charity and Women's Aid and work with Diabetes UK. So I'm working with things that will impact society. And at least one person I know will be impacted by that. You will surely because 50% of women are going to go through some form of menopause. So you know, I'm impacting a lot of people on a different set of levels. And then I do my mentoring and my coaching. And you know what, Fiona I even now I feel it I can feel myself welling up inside because I'm so proud that I can do that. I'm proud that I can do that. Because if I can inspire another young woman, another young black girl to dare to dream hey babes I've have done well.
Fiona 31:15
And more. I mean, your mom must be so proud.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 31:19
My mom I Fiona man. Don't get me crying down this phone. Oh, my mama is so proud of me. And my mom has been the most unimaginable four years from stomach cancer for gastrectomy in 2019. Lost five stone like instantly, you know from a nice size, size 14 woman down to size zero now literally size 4, but stomach cancer, losing my my stepfather, her husband to COVID to then go from there to dementia, dementia, early dementia so that's not even a big big deal at the moment. But now you're talking about full amputation above knee amputation. No longer got the movement that she had before, sitting there reliant on carers. My mum is my hero. I say every single talk I can give. And despite all of that, that she has been through, every time I go and see her, whether it's in the hospital or at home, she said she called me Miss Amanda. My name's Michelle Amanda. "Miss Amanda, you look lovely. Michelle, wear those shoes with that jacket. Michelle, I love that dress you had an in Hello magazine. It was lovely. I love the colours." My mum is incredibly proud of me. And she tells me and that's another thing. I've been blessed to have an old school mum with a young school mind.
Fiona 32:38
Love it.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 32:38
Yeah. Young school mind from when my mum has been open minded when I first lost my virginity when I could go to my Mum and talk to my Mum about it. I went on the pill with my Mum taking me up to the doctors. My Mum's always been with it and savvy. And I'm forever grateful. And I hope I hope that my daughters one day will see me as I see my Mum.
Fiona 33:01
I'm pretty sure they already do.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 33:04
Then I've got big shoes to fill. My mum is my hero. I've got big shoes to fill.
Fiona 33:10
What's their relationship like with your Mum?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 33:14
Beautiful. Beautiful. Because I'm the only girl right let's call it out here. I'm the only girl so I spend an awful lot of time. Before my Mum was sick. It was always my Mum and stepdad and me Matthew and the kids. So we've always done stuff a lot of stuff together. So my kids see my Mum a lot. Also in my favour, my Mum has also helped to raise my kids. So when I've gone to work Mummy would be my built, built in live in babysitter, or travelling to Canterbury, travelling to Devon looking after my kids for me. So I've had that as a blessing she would say "Michelle, give me the ironing, bring the ironing down. The baby's sleeping let me iron the clothes." Yeah, so my hero has been part of my life. And that's why I know that my Mum's going to be, she's seen the best days of her life. And I hope she doesn't hear this podcast because she'll say "Michelle tried to write me off!" I know that she's had the best days of her life. But moving it back when I look back in reflection. I've done, I've been a brilliant daughter to my Mum. My mum has been a magnificent Mummy to me. My children adore my Mummy. And my 19 year old daughter was going out to a concert recently, was at my Mum's house and she had a she had an accident and needed changing and sorting out, the carrier's weren't there for a period of time. My daughter put on an apron put on her gloves. "Come on Grandma, come on Grandma." And my Mum's going "But Reese - let me wait for the carers, let me wait because you're gonna out and you're." "Don't worry about it. Grandma, come on babes". Reese changed my Mum, number one. She sat with my Mum when my Mum got first diagnosed Reese came in from university from Cambridge, drove down to Mommy's because she trains by Mommy's and her coach is not far from where Mommy lives in London. And she said, "Grandma, your foot doesn't look well" and Reese, Reese took Mommy in her mini to Northwick Park hospital. Twenty seven hours sat on the floor doing her essay for Cambridge. And Mommy's going "Reese, let's go home. Don't bother Reese is too much of your time." She said, "Grandma. I'm not leaving you." Reese puts on the computer Judge Judy, because Mommy likes Judge Judy, and I just said, "Reese, I cannot tell you how grateful I am." You know what the little girl said to me. Mommy, it's only what Grandma's done for me my whole life."
Fiona 35:33
That is so beautiful. That is
Michelle Griffith Robinson 35:36
Amen. Beautiful. It's proper, beautiful. It's I'm just like, Reese. She's like, it's nothing but because it is normalised. She's right. My Mum has done it for her whole life. She's absolutely right, good. No, she don't get it twisted, young girl. Don't keep your feet on the ground. Your grandma has done it for you your whole life. Every Tuesday and Thursday, when we would take those days other days off to look after my kids so that I could go to work. I'm blessed. I'm blessed.
Fiona 36:08
Wow. What a powerful unit.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 36:13
And Amen. I am, we are. And despite the fact and this podcast isn't about my Mum only. But it's about showing you the values where I've come from.
Fiona 36:26
As you say that your values differ from your husband. And if that's too personal to discuss, then just skip over it. But just interested because those are, those are some very strong values that you've just described. What underlies the way your daughter behaved?
Michelle Griffith Robinson 36:45
Mine and Matthews values when it comes to family- identical. Amazing, a exactly at the top of the tree with that they're 11 out of 10. This is very important. So that's that straightaway. We had that connection, Matt said that when he first met my Mum 21 years ago. When he came to my Mum's house, he could see the fact of food was a big part of our family and our community sitting around the table, talking on a Sunday, that was part of the value. So that's what we've always done. And we do it now with our own kids, where it's just the five of us, all of us around the table. There's no better time on a Sunday. And what Matt will now do is he'll phone his father and his great and his Grandmother in Jamaica, and we'll have them on the phone whilst we're having Sunday dinner. And we might do a prayer. Yeah, so those values are identical. I would say the values are different in terms of Matt doesn't hold much value to money at all. He was he would match the most simplest guy, all my friends, your guys, your husband's the most simplest guy. It's not I put value to money, but I'm, I'm like, "No, Matt, I want nice things. I want nice things." He's like, "Babe, what's wrong with that?" I'm like no, no, no, you see that's where the values might differ. But in terms of family values, now we're on the same page and then some. And that's why the fundamentals of our marriage works exceptionally well. They work very well. Where our where our marriage may go down and fall down, is sometimes we lose sight that in order for us to be great, we have to continue the continuum of communicating well. And that becomes a little bit like more taking someone for granted when you've been with them 21 years. So that's where I'm recognising my coaching hat on, I got to put it in sometimes, "Matt, I need to know what we're doing babe. What are we doing?" "Mich don't worry about it now." And because he's so busy, I remember and then I'm too busy. So we need to both stop. And for anybody out there who's in a partnership, stop, just take take five, stop and reel it back in again, almost like the fish, reel, reel it back in again. Because otherwise, that reel goes up to the ocean and you can't reel it back in again. Great analogy. And I also think that communication piece is just immense. Agh babes immense in'it.
Fiona 38:49
And I know my Mum won't listen because she doesn't listen. So I gotta say, my Mum and my Dad's marriage failed, primarily because of lack of communication.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 39:01
And see why babes.
Fiona 39:03
And it's just, you know, I was determined that I decided I wasn't going to get married unless it was someone that I felt like I could stay with through the ups and the downs. But you do have to I mean, we've been together nearly in what we've been together for more than 20 years now. Actually, I get this wrong while he corrects me. But I know it's our 19th wedding anniversary this year. So I know that.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 39:30
Brilliant, brilliant.
Fiona 39:31
We, really again, you know, you have to, you have to you don't have to work at it. As in I personally don't believe there should be this massive work. But it's a communication. It's just being together and actually thinking, where are you? What's going on for you at the moment? Rather than just being absolutely rushing past one another.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 39:53
Absolutely. And that's sometimes where you have to take stock and actually the last six months to a year, we haven't been great at it because my priorities have shifted and recognising that too. And that's not forever. You know, it's not forever, but my priorities have shifted. So it's not actually been me and Matt's marriage that's been a priority, it has been me looking after my mum. And then when I'm around my kids, you know, so and then my job being self employed. So that's something that I'm very aware of, astutely aware of. So I'm now starting to think right, okay, babes. Let's put something in and there's gonna be a big transitional shift because we're moving to Wales soon, Matt's going to be taking up a post. Yeah, we're movingt to our farmhouse in Wales. So anybody that hasn't seen the programme, we've done a programme called 'Renovation Nation' on Channel Four. It's amazing. It's basically a grade two listed farmhouse that we're doing up and we will be moving in July, end of July. Matt's got a new job down there Deputy Head as well, which is fantastic. Again, you know, very driven individual that's come up against many obstacles being a black male in the independent sector. He's an incredible guy, incredible story, former rugby player as well. And there's going to be a lot of transitioning going on, my daughter's been going off to boarding school in September, Madeline's gonna be back at university. So it's going to be the three of us rattling around this farmhouse. And again, you know, that's going to look very different, because it's first time that Elijah is going to be at home without his big sisters, you know, so. And I work in London quite a bit, you know, grateful that I get the work that keeps coming in as public speaking, or keynote speaker, etc. I'm very pleased with all of that. But I recognise that there's gonna be a shift. So the shift is going to be that, you know, things are going to start to look a slightly different. So I now got put things into place. And I'm already almost started to think about, right, okay, what's my two days that I'm going to be at home, that I'm going to have as my non negotiables of working, it's, I think it's gonna be a Monday and Friday. I think I'm going to be a Monday through Friday, that is my non negotiables. And that if I have to be in London, it's got to start from a Tuesday morning, for example. And I think these are the conversations that need to be taking place. And taking place before September starts. So that I'm not feeling disgruntled and Fiona that, you know what, all of a sudden, I'm having to compromise. That's where it falls down a lot. I'm compromising and you're going off working. But it's my work well, your own self employed, and sometimes it can get blurred lines. Yeah. So it's about again, that communication is huge Fiona.
Fiona 42:21
It is. And I think, you know, I think the thing is 'we' take not 'you' but people generally, we take for granted that we've thought something through and therefore the other person knows it. And we don't. I mean, when you if you say out loud, you think "Oh, God, no, of course, I don't think that". But in our own heads, there's a tendency to think "Well, I've worked it through, therefore, why have you not?" Yeah. And then a), they may not even have thought of it b) there may have worked through with a different solution. So you have to say out loud.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 42:55
Absolutely. And I think that's where we both go, we both have fallen. Don't you know, don't get me wrong, you know - very loving marriage, excuse me, guys. And a very loving marriage, but it's definitely been a bit more trying of late. Definitely. And I'm not pretending I will never pretend. It's been more trying of late. But I think that's the external stresses that have creeping in and again, awareness being a coach, recognising where I'm at, where do I sit with it all, but also is while challenging my husband when I feel he's acting inappropriately, to something. And I think that's what part of it is saying, "Matt, hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's no, I'm not accepting that behaviour. You cannot speak to me like that stop." And equally, He's pulling me up now. So "Mish, Mish, I thought we had an agreement that we're going to stop and take five for a minute." So it's just about you know, if you want the relationship to grow and to keep growing, you have to stop and put the mirror. Yep. Check in with each other. Check in with each other babe, love that. So I'm very big on ticketing systems, very big on them.
Fiona 44:02
That's amazing. I mean, I've all these wisdoms I want to glean from you but people can glean these wisdoms from you they can go to your website, which is your name, is it not? Yeah www dot Michelle Griffith Robinson OLY dot co dot UK. I'm also Michelle Griffith Robinson, on Instagram, Robinson OLY on Twitter, Michelle Griffith Robinson on LinkedIn. And I often say to everybody, every time I do a talk, it's all very well finding me, but find yourselves first. I love it. I love it. And I must quote another one off your website. Oh, those two. So one of them. "My mission in life is to empower women and girls to unlock their full potential." I mean, that is just I mean, what have you I'm, I'm coming with you on that mission. And then "To achieve ambitions we must first believe in ourselves."
Michelle Griffith Robinson 45:00
Amen. How to Absolutely. Absolutely. I said to somebody I met a lovely lady before we finish. I met her the other day for dinner beautiful lady. I won't say her name, but beautiful lady I connected with. We had a beautiful hour and a half dinner together. And she said "What what do you what's next for Michelle? You know, you're everywhere. You're doing some great stuff. You're really making a big social impact on stuff." And I said, "I'd like to do a sell out audience at the Royal Albert Hall 'Confidence with Michelle' evening. That's what I want to do. So I'm gonna manifest that and put it out there.
Fiona 45:31
Do it. Oh, wow. Yes. Can I come? I think I mean, absolutely. And the thing that women and girls lack and I see time and time again from doing my work, is confidence. So you even have a woman who's Senior in an organisation who's absolutely out of the park compared to her peers who are male, even have I someone I've got in mind at the moment, her male peers are championing her and cheering her, but there's still with women. Yeah, a little bit of belief. Yeah.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 46:07
Lack of self belief and doubt, and I, you know, I get it, don't get me wrong, I do get it. But if I can just make them really truly understand and recognise that you don't have to tear each other down in order to achieve that. You don't have to. You don't have to male bash to achieve that. No, you have to show up as your authentic self. Recognise, recognise your skill set. And get your cheerleaders around you male female, irrespective of gender and colour. Yep. And formulate your group. I know they are your cheerleaders that want to see you kick us.
Fiona 46:47
Yes, yes. Yes. Totally. Wow. Amazing to have your time Amazing speaking to you. You're a fabulous person a fabulous gift to the world. And I will continue to watch you and and wait for my invite to the Albert Hall as well.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 47:10
Royal Albert Hall. Thank you Fiona. I'm waiting for my my invite to where you're moving to next which I've got a feeling but I won't say it out but yeah, one of my favourite places. Oh, yeah. Just saying.
Fiona 47:20
If you if you ever want to come, you're welcome.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 47:23
Hashtag, no hashtag just saying I do. I'm not gonna put it out there. listeners. I do want to come. High five, high five.
Fiona 47:34
Oh, thanks so much Mich. It's so so wonderful to speak to you. And I'm so excited to share this with other people as well.
Michelle Griffith Robinson 47:42
Thank you so much. And please, please give your daughter the biggest hug and kiss from me and tell her a dream is nothing if it's left on the pillow.
Fiona 47:55
What a note to end on. Thanks to my guests, thanks to you for listening. If you want to find out more about me and my work, go to funimation.com or my social media handle is also Fiona Murden. If you enjoyed this, please do subscribe, review and tell your friends it'd be a massive help. But for now, goodbye and I hope you have a great week.